


Gone but not forgotten

by fantasy1610



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Forgive Me, Hospital, I will go stand in a corner now, Jared doesn't like to be alone, Jensen/Misha heavily implied, M/M, Multi, POV Switches, car crash, i'm a horrible person for writing this, narration (at the end), spn crew keeps jar of ashes on set, spreading of ashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:42:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6318727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasy1610/pseuds/fantasy1610
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a horrible car crash that sends Jared to the hospital. No one is sure if he is going to make it. Jensen and Misha come to the hospital to be with him in his last moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone but not forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Heeyyy lovlies. Lets make a checklist shall we?  
> -Been having a bad case of writers block. CHECK  
> -Procrastinating horribly on "Dreams and Other Things. CHECK  
> -Hanging head in shame. CHECK  
> -Need coffee. CHECK  
> -Standing in corner for writing this. CHECK  
> -Needs motivation or ideas to keep "Dreams and Other Things" alive. CHECK  
> -Will struggle through this swamp of being idea-less for you all. DOUBLE CHECK:)

Jared slowly came to consciousness, surprised to find himself in a hospital bed, before the events of this morning came flooding back to him. He had been driving home from a shoot that had gone a lot later than expected, so by the time he was driving home it was already three in the morning. There had been something in the road and when he hit it his car had flipped. Jared remembered excruciating pain and blinding white lights, loud voices and the feeling of being drugged to sleep. Now he was laying in this bed wheezing through a ventilator. Jared tried to shift around, but quit when he felt a searing pain in his chest. Instead, the man started to take stock of his surroundings. He was in a tiny, sparse room in what must have been the ICU unit of a hospital, and was lying in a bed that had not been crafted for a man his size, so Jared’s feet hung off the end of the bed and were supported by a stool with a pillow at the foot of the bed. He winced at a particularly painful breath, his chest feeling as if it was on fire as the effects of the painkillers started to fade. He had been in this same bed for about twelve hours judging by the fact that he must’ve been in surgery for at least two hours, and now the sun was setting outside his window. Jared was feeling a strange mixture of stiff restlessness from being in the same position for so long, and a feeling of lethargy that was slowly but surely getting stronger. Jared wasn’t stupid, he didn’t hold any false hopes that he was going to leave this hospital through its front doors, but as he glanced around the empty room, he wished he didn’t have to do it alone.

‘Oh well,’ he thought, ‘ you can’t have everything in life, can you Jared?’

\-------------------------------------

Jensen paced the hospital waiting room impatiently, debating whether or not to berate a nurse about seeing his best friend, or sitting quietly with Misha to wait until they were allowed into the ICU. Jensen stormed up to a nurse he knew had been caring for Jared, and as soon as the nurse, whose name tag said Cindy Sampson, saw him coming, she sighed. Before he could even open his mouth, however, she said, “I told you, sir, only immediate family are allowed with Mr. Padalecki at this time-”

“Listen, Ms. Sampson, I've known Jared for  _ ten years _ , and right now Misha and I are the closest thing to family this guy has.” Cindy was about to say something, but Jensen spoke first. “He isn't doing well, is he?” Her face fell, and she shook her head slightly. He nodded tersely, “That's what I thought. Listen, my best friend is going to die, and I’ll be damned if I let him go through that alone!”

Cindy was silent for almost a full minute, before she nodded. “Alright, grab your friend and I'll show you back.” Jensen stared at her, surprised, and she gave him a tight-lipped smile. “You're right, he shouldn't have to die alone.” Jensen thanked her, before turning and almost sprinting back to the waiting room where his partner waited anxiously, tapping his foot and checking his watch almost every 20 seconds. Mishap sprung up as soon as he saw Jensen coming, waiting worriedly for news. 

“Relax, Misha, Nurse Sampson is going to take us back to see him.” Jensen smiled tightly at the other man, reaching out and squeezing his hand before leading him over to where the nurse was standing. She turned without a word and led them back through the hallways into the ICU unit. She stopped outside Jared’s room and before opening the door she warned them, “He may still be asleep, don’t touch him, and be quiet and gentle. Your friend is in a delicate state.” She pushed open the door and closed it after them, leaving Jensen and Misha alone with their best friend. 

\-------------------------------------

The men stood there for a moment, unable to do anything but stare at Jared. He was lying in a bed much to small for him, and Misha would have laughed at how his friend utterly dwarfed the bed if he didn't feel on the verge of tears. A mess of tubes and IV’s were connected all over Jared’s body, and the only sound in the tiny room was a wheezing sound as Jared breathed through a ventilator. He was deathly pale, and cuts and scrapes were scattered all over the white hospital gown-clad actor. The rest of the room was sparsely decorated, two plastic chairs next to the bed on one side, and a small table with a glass of water and a call button on the other. Another miniature table stood in the corner, and a window that looked out across the Vancouver Hospital parking lot bathed the room in the soft light of the setting sun. Misha expected Jared to be asleep, so he was kind of shocked when he saw him turn his head toward the visitors, eyes widening when he saw who it was. 

Voice weak and rough from disuse and the respirator, he asked, “Jen? Misha? What’re you guys doing here?” 

Jensen smiled genuinely, though Misha thought it was still heartbreakingly sad, and replied, “We just came up to hang with you, Bitch.” 

The immediate reply of “Jerk” and a rough laugh made Misha smirk a little at the timeless banter that the two men had picked up from their characters. Misha glanced at Jared, who was starting to look even worse for the wear than a few minutes ago, before catching Jensen’s eye and raising his eyebrows and flicking his glance towards Jared, as if asking ‘Is it just me or is Jared getting worse?’ Jensen nodded, silently confirming Misha’s query. The two were able to do that surprisingly well, Misha thought, being able to have conversations through facial expressions as if they were out loud. It made both of them happy that they could understand each other so well. 

Time passed to quickly, and the two actors could only watch as their bestfriend deteriorated. Well-wishers came and went; fellow actors, past and present directors, producers, and most of the SPN team stopped by to be with Jared for a bit. Misha smiled, they really did have a great team, they were fortunate to have each other. People who hadn’t showed up, however, were Jared’s parents, his wife, and his kids. They wanted so badly to be here, but none of them were even in Canada right now, so it would probably be morning before they got here. ‘And that may be too late’ he thought morbidly.

\-------------------------------------

Even though he was feeling worse, Jared didn’t mention it to either Misha or Jensen. He didn’t want them to worry about him more, considering they were worried enough. Besides, he was sick of dealing with overly sympathetic nurses who fussed over him like an invalid. ‘You _ are _ an invalid though..’ His head told him. Jared realized that Jensen had been talking, so he tried to focus on that rather than the gradually increasing pain and lethargy. “-so then I told her that she could fuck off if she wasn’t going to help us!” Jensen was saying. Jared smiled and laughed, his mind once again drifting towards unconsciousness. “Jared!” He snapped awake, startled and a little guilty, to see Jensen shaking his arm, his brow creased with worry. “You okay, dude?” He nodded, smiling sheepishly.

“Sorry, just tired.” Misha gave him a look that called bullshit, but the conversation continued as normal, Jensen’s hand a constant support on Jared’s arm. Jensen was retelling a story of a bar fight, “-then I punched him square in the face and-” when Jared interrupted.

“Jen, stop stalling, I know you don’t want to admit it, but I’m dying.” The silence in the room was deafening, and besides, no one knew what to say. The heart monitor started to beep slower, the beeps spreading out and the lines on the screen not raising up quite as high. It was proof, no matter how morbid or heartbreaking, that Jared was dying. Jared trembled slightly, he was scared to die, and he didn’t want to leave all the people he loved. He just wasn’t ready, dammit! The damned heart monitor betrayed his fear, spiking up and beeping rapidly. Jensen moved to his bedside, reaching over and holding Jared’s clammy hands. “It’s going to be okay, Jar, I’m not going to leave you.” Jared smiled shakily, before a stray tear made it’s way down his cheek and disappeared into his hair. “Aw, Jar, don’t cry, I’m not going to leave you, and neither is Misha.” At this, Jared turned to see Misha opposite the bed from Jensen, holding his other hand. He offered Misha a smile, thankful that even if his some of his family couldn’t be here, the rest of his family was.

\-------------------------------------

Jensen and Misha held Jared’s hands, the comfortable, if very sad, silence only broken by the gradually slowing beeping of the heart monitor. Jensen really wanted to tear that thing out of the wall, because he couldn’t help thinking of it as a countdown, ticking away the minutes his best friend, his family, had left. He was shaken out of his thoughts by Misha’s shaky voice asking Jared, “Will it hurt you? Dying? You shouldn't have to deal with any pain.” 

Jar grinned at Misha, though it lacked it’s usual energy, eager to comfort someone else for a change. “Don’t worry, Misha, It’s quicker and easier than falling asleep.” Jensen couldn’t help but snort.

“You nerd. Harry Potter? Really? At a time like this?” Jared just smirked at Jensen, while Misha just looked confused.

“I don’t get it? Harry Potter?” 

Jared stared at Misha, “Misha Collins, please tell you know what Harry Potter is.” Jensen just snickered, knowing not to mess with Jar and his Harry Potter obsession. Unfortunately, it seemed that Misha hadn’t picked that up yet. 

“I’ve heard of it, everyone has, I just have never read it.” Jar stared at the man, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“Misha, you must swear to me that you will read and watch all the Harry Potter books and movies and leave a complete review on my grave stone.” Misha laughed and promised, but his laugh died as those last words must have sunk in. Silence took over once more but was again broken by Misha.

“I swear.” 

“Good, thank you.” Jared smiled, but it was sad, and he was obviously weak. Just the conversation with Misha had left him exhausted. Jensen surged forward out of his seat and tackled Jared in a hug, tears silently streaming down his cheeks. Misha joined him, and then they were all engulfed in the biggest chick-flick moment to date. 

“I love you Jen, Misha. Thank you for not leaving me alone.” The heart monitor started beeping slower and slower, until the beeping turned to a flatline, and Jared grew horribly still. 

“JARED! NO!” Jensen collapsed against the bed, sobbing, still holding his best friend’s hand. 

\-------------------------------------

Misha let his tears flow, blind to everything in the world except Jared and Jensen, deaf to everything but the heart monitor and Jen’s sobs. Then he heard something that made him glance over, his eyes filled with renewed tears. Jensen, in between sobs, whimpered “I-I never g-got to say that I lo-love him too..” The words made Misha’s already broken heart shatter into a million pieces, and he wrapped his free arm around his best friend, his other hand still holding onto Jared’s now cold one.

\-------------------------------------

(Back in time to the moment Jared.. I don’t want to say it.. died.)

“I love you Jen, Misha. Thank you for not leaving me alone.” Jared tried to smile again, but his body wasn’t cooperating, going into shut down mode. Black started to encroach around the edges of his vision, and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it. Besides, he was tired and Jared just wanted the pain to stop. The blackness was closing in fast and for a millisecond, Jared was scared, but then the feeling was gone and so was he. Away from the pain, yes, but also away from life.   
\-------------------------------------

Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins stayed by their best friend’s bedside until they were forced away by nurses, firm but sympathetic, used to dealing with grieving families. They were picked up and driven home by Richard Speight Jr, who had been attempting to see his friend before he got the news. 

Jared Padalecki was cremated and, the demanding jerk he was, wanted his ashes spread across all fifty states. Misha and Jensen went on a road trip a few months later, a jar in the backseat, but not all of the ashes were spread. To this day, a little jar could always be seen in the corner of scenes on Supernatural, either in the corner of a motel room or a diner or some other place. Never completely gone, and never forgotten. 

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE don't hate me for that.. Anyway, did you like it? Hate it? let me know! BTW I am working on ch 3 for Dreams and Other Things right now, but I'm struggling. If you have any ideas or anywhere you want this story to go, leave 'em in the comments or on my tumbler, teenwolf-spn-etc. Thanks and have a fantastic spring break!!


End file.
